Going With the Flow Will Burn You Out

I love a flexible person, plan, and program. 

I love it when something can be modified or when a problem can be solved creatively so that it’s a win-win. 

That type of going-with-the-flow isn't what I’m talking about. 

I’m talking about the unstructured compromises a lot of us make daily just to get through the day.

Maybe it would be better described as the ways that we 🪄pretend🪄 that we have freedom or we're nice people by shifting our priorities around for others?

Sometimes, you'll have seasons when you can't predict when, where, and how you'll take on certain basic, regular tasks for yourself or others.

Sometimes, you'll just have to do what you can, when you can, and let that be good enough.

Maybe your entire college years and your practicum and your first couple of jobs made you feel like that.

Here’s the issue with that emergency focused approach:

When going with the flow is the right strategy, you'll know because it will work in your favor! It may not feel comfortable, but you'll be connected with the purpose and the strategy behind it.

BUT

Sometimes life changes, and the same mindset of “I’ll just get as much done as I can, when I can,” becomes a source of both procrastination and overwhelm.

When what used to make you look productive starts to make you look like the Tasmanian Devil

Life may be giving you more room than you realize to explore a well-planned, measured order, if only your inner tyrant wouldn't keep running you ragged, whispering:

“You have to take care of everything you can, RIGHT NOW.”

This is what therapists mean when we tell our clients that old coping skills aren’t necessarily going to work in all new circumstances.  

When you still operate under the mentality of putting out fires, even though the fires are well-contained or responsive to the plan you've got in place, you'll end up missing the opportunities to build and rebuild.

The urgent tasks you’re used to chasing down aren’t necessarily the right tasks to help you recover from stress or create meaning in your life. 

So if your lunch time, workout time, administrative time, recovery time, or are getting eaten up by tiny tasks, loud interruptions, or internal worries, take the next week or two and challenge yourself to a reset. 

For example, you could: 

• Ask your colleagues to engage in more formal channels for client updates, instead of pinging your phone 5 times a day. 

• Push back the time you suggest your kids can knock on your door by 30 minutes so that you have time to complete a report or two before ending your day.

• 📢📢📢END YOUR SESSIONS ON TIME, so that you have enough time for a real bio-break before your next task. 

• Raise your fees to reduce the pressure to see so many clients. 

• Put “lunch” on your to-do list and your calendar as its own, protected, essential item. 

• Find formal channels for activism, places where you can plan ahead, participate, and express your values instead of randomly freezing and doom-scrolling when you are trying to work. 

• Update your notes template in your EHR to capture the new way you work.

These are just a few suggestions. Consider your own needs, and then practice reprioritizing your professional and personal needs into your day. Do it on purpose, don't wait for permission.